Feeling schizophrenic

The novel writing is going more slowly than I planned, but I have sent a few pages to my writing group for their first reactions. I'll let you know what they say.

One thing I think many writers experience is this odd feeling of schizophrenia when we read material we wrote a long time ago.

I read some old emails I sent about 5-6 years ago. Nothing seemed familiar. I don't remember the person I was replying to, and reading my own words gave me an odd feeling like looking in a mirror and not recognizing the person staring back.

On the one hand, reading past work (whether it be emails, stories, or journal entries) is seeing the you who existed at that time. You can objectively review your material because it is foreign; the mind has forgotten it and treats is as new.

On the other hand, creative work seems to come from some other entity, a not-you. Artists talk about the muse, and that works for some. Is there another person living in me? Am I just a more rational, functioning schitzophrenic who can tap into the writer-persona at will?

During a recent writing session, I saw the images of what was happening to my characters. I resisted at first, because they took me to a dark place, but I went ahead and let them show me the way.

I don't understand the process, but it's very intriguing.